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LETTER TO NO ONE II: "MAMA DEAREST

mama dearest
you know deep down
i really do love you
but i can't stay here
with you forever
the streets are calling
freedom is calling
it's time for me to go

i'm not asking much
all i want
is for you to let go
i'm a woman now
you knew i couldn't stay
your little girl forever
so don't cry, mama
just turn around and walk away

it's okay mama
it really is
i have to take care of myself now
i have to find my destiny
it's time for me to learn
to experience life alone
don't worry about me
i'll find myself somewhere

in a lonely truck stop
just north of Blythe
or maybe in that diner
outside of Avondale
i know you're afraid
you'll lose yourself if you lose me
there'll always be a place in my heart for you
you just can't be a part of my identity

anymore than i can be
a part of yours
i have to be alone
to discover the person
i'm supposed to be
so please just be happy
with the part you had
in this life of mine

be happy with daddy
try not to think
about the little girl you raised
accept the fact
that she doesn't exist anymore
forget about the life
we had together
and make a new one with the man you love

i'll be alright mama
i'll find a job somewhere
get money any way i can
i'll spend my last few dollars
on coffee and cigarettes
just because that's the way
i'll choose to live
because that's the way it should be

you know there'll always be
memories and photos to cherish
letters we'll write
that we'll never send
and i promise mama
that sometimes i'll think of you
as i walk the path that leads
to the road called Destiny. . .


written 4/15/98